UNDISCOVERED

Viva Las Vegas

2012-02-26T00:59:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the city of sin! Man oh boy have I already got into the thick of things in the short time I've been a resident here in the city of lies, money and more lies. Its not as bad as it sounds though, no seriously, its probably one of the best times I've had.

Now coming from Los Angeles, CA I have had the pleasure of working with and for major motion pictures, music videos and concert venues galore. So I've seen and heard and experienced a lifetime of disappointment, tragedy, lost, heartbreak and homelessness. Yep, I've done it all. And now that I have come to one of the biggest party cities in the entire world, I've learned more in the last month about myself and society than in the last 7 years of my adulthood. Get rich or die trying wasn't only fascinating words from Sir 50 cent, but they are words to kill by out here.

Don't get me wrong, if I was swept off my feet in the right manner where I didn't meet a guy thru mutual friends and since he grabs their asses to be cute, its totally cool to grab me in the same manner. (Don't worry darlin, its gonna get better). But for now, all I've learned to focus on is making money and sleep. Both are high priority in my life since I've decided to put myself first finally.

Although I may seem bitter and resentful with rage due to my life and times in Hollywood Highhhhh, I can assure you its well deserving and justified, ask anyone close to me.

Now to the good stuff. You've heard every horror story you can possibly come by from all over Vegas. The way you have to barter to get into clubs, the infamous shows, the day after a Vegas wedding nightmare, the taxi drivers who will run you over without thinking twice about it, and lastly the stripclubs and the 'happy ending' bars. I can tell you right now, its all true. Whether you chose to accept my word or not, I don't give a fuck anymore.

My life right now consists of Go Go competitions that are rigged, Blackjack school where they can't place me in 80% of the casinos because I'm 'too big" and my tattoos are too visable, dance rehearsals 3 times a week, running almost everyday and a spa that is under sketchy circumstances, but I am 100% positive its totally legal. So far, I have plenty of stories from each, but this is just the introduction to my new life.

Ill leave you with this bit of knowledge. Even though everyone wants the best for you, what they really want is for you to have your own money, especially your parents. So do whatever you have to to make a living! You can dance on your down time and facebook when you have something great to share, but don't waste away on your computer. I did that for so long and now I can say that I am honestly attempting to live the life I've imagined. You have to plant your goal to reach it... Plan! Focus! Execute! Party! In that mutha fuckin order!

Plus, come visit me in Vegas. You won't spend as much as you think. :)

Xo bitches

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The Pinup Girls (LA,SANFRAN,NYC!) GIRLCANDY New Music Video starring Elaine Hendrix and the extended cast of the Pinup Girls!!!!

2011-11-23T12:46:00.001-08:00

So we finally finished the video and we are proud of it! GIRLCANDY is a fun, sexy, pillow fight, burlesque magic show and we invite you to experience a night with us! Check us out at www.ThePinupGirls.com and purchase pre-sales tickets and we wanna come to a city near you! So check out the video and tell all your friends!!!! Thank you!

-Rosie Reform

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New Years Kiss Expectations and How I Became a Grinch.

2011-11-16T19:13:00.001-08:00

I want to skip this holiday season... I just want to celebrate my moms birthday in peace. One: I'm broke, all the time. Two: I don't like celebrating a fictisious character just so shitty consumer selves just to feel good about ourselves by buying shit we don't need or buying shit because you have no idea what other people actually like. Three: Honestly, I am not trying to come off selfish, I just know ill be disappointed and I've gone thru this every year on New Years Eve since college when my crush kissed someone else in front of me so its been the samething every year. How can you honestly look forward to anything after that? Its a lot more complicated then this, of course, so I'm sorry in advance, bc the guy I've dreamed about since I was a little girl finally manifested and he's just not that into me, do I keep fighting for him? And the men that I have let into my life prior to my discovery are great, all of you, some more than others, but I am not looking for you anymore... and I know there are better ways to say it, but I'm sorry, that was the weaker, unconfident me. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know you won't be holding me. The worst part is that I feel bad for me for feeling bad for all my ex's because somewhere down inside of me I was supposed to run back to one of you, but I can't. I get bored easily and I realize that now. I am hard to please, but always looking to please. Which, in turn now, has lead me to checking my new crush's facebook everyday just to see if he had written an inside joke just to see if he cared at all about me. But that is also so selfish of me because I honestly have been a slut my entire life, I've lied, I've cheated, I've tried to love someone but couldn't. I have never gotten revenge on anyone though. That's not my thing. Ill cry in my car for hours and drink until it pains me... but ill never think to wreck havoc on you after you've hurt me. I'm taken for granted tho. I give you everything up front when I'm attracted to you and hope for the best. I also believe in love at first sight. I have never had it reciprocated by the one I'm interested in. Its always been bums or random black guys on the street whom don't respond well to being completely ignored. IS THAT FAIR? THAT'S ALL I GET? NOT ONCE HAS IT BEEN THE RIGHT TIME! Never anything past the 3 month "honeymoon" period. I'm like "good luck chuck." This will be more organized when I get to my computer, but for now, fuck the holidays.

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Why your Girl Best Friend Should be a Guy.

2011-09-18T15:56:00.001-07:00

The more you act like the boys the less they like you. The more you act like a girl the less they like you. You act like them, they hate that they may be outwit. Well here's the reall mutha fukin deal y'all: I just want to be loved by a guy. Not any guy, that would be too awkward and way too easy. I want to be loved by someone who thinks and truly believes they know who I really am and love all the crazy. Because even though we girls have a darker side, we also have this cool fun side that no one hardly ever talks about. You just hold on to some old memory where you were hurt or betrayed or left or lost or WHATEVER!
So girls, your best friend: unconditional love, courage, support, independence, truthful, always has your back, drives you when your drunk... but she's a girl. Sawweee as much as I love love love my Bestie, I can't possibly have the same emotion or connection I have and want with a guy. Why can't it be? Why isn't it enough? Is it the sex? Why is that certain connection more powerful than the love of friends or even family?
If its trust, then the hell with it. No one, so far, has proven any sort of trust. Except for the people who put all the cards on the table, like "we are friends, we kiss occassionally when we are drunk, and sometimes we go home together, but we are, by no means, dating or will be seen in public together."
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm tired of that game. Its hard to keep up with and I try to be cool and forgiving, but I always feel stepped on, especially if I, god forbid, say how the other person makes me feel. Run as fast as you can, change your number, move states away and disappear from my life. Is that how you want to treat me? Honestly? What did I do to deserve your neglect?

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why don't you go blog yourself.

2011-09-07T18:10:00.001-07:00

I'm getting an ipad tmrw. I'm uber excited and I don't want to hear how there will be a new one soon, don't care! Anywho. I will be ultimately more productive. That's the exciting part.

I am also currently at work and just got paid. Truth.

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Goals Shmols Tolls on "The Dream"

2011-08-25T16:16:00.001-07:00

I've accomplished a couple small goals recently. You can be preturbed as to what they may have been, but I don't really care how you personally react to this. All I care about is numbers and whether or not you are undeniably entertained by the antics that is my life. On that note; I finally got the hook up I wanted. I'm not sure why I am so proud of it. Probably because I set a certain expectation and I met it. It feels good to have done something so specific. Not that it has anything to do with the rest of my life as a life-changing event would, but it was just a small personal party for me.
I want to also add that I only wanted to have a friend and not one to necessarily dump our problems on each other before or after you are "involved," but just someone to have good conversation and "situational happiness" without the rapture of a "steady relationship" as so many of you all seem to be fighting for, when all you do is lie, cheat and steal and maybe have a moment or two when you're actually happy.

All in all, I got, in its entirety, what I wanted. It just feels good and the person involved actually feels the same way. We will not be dating, however, I'm not into that whole "ruin a good thing"... thing.

Love this moment. You don't have to be in love.

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To Sleepover or to not Have Sex...

2011-08-20T14:42:00.001-07:00

Huge question. What do you think about friend sleep overs? You just go to that persons house a girl goes to a guy, you're not sure the situation. You haven't known eachother very long, but you know there is a reason you're attrached to them. So you go have this awkward sleepover situation where everyone is emotionally unavailable, but you can't seem to have sober sex because you will be revealing secret things that the other person will remember in the morning. Sooo what do you do? You should just go hangout, the boy will "promise" to not "touch" you and you can just "cuddle." Anywho. All I want is to hangout, pass out and just have really great friends in the morning without having to be asked terrible questions like "soooo do you like me?" Chances are I just came to say hello. I want to be your friend, I don't want to walk out the next morning feeling less about myself because you expected to "cuddle" and were sorely disappointed. So say what you mean and mean what you say. But since this became an issue ill just refrain from sleepovers, because they won't turn into one night stands...

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me write blog.

2011-08-18T17:58:00.001-07:00

As amazingly articulate as it sounds, yes, I do. Welcome! I'm just making this my own. When I say "my own" it will be absolutely ridiculous. Though, now, I am going to start doing more posts. Short quips, if you will, about the undiscovered, unimaginable life that I am currently taking from the universe. Thanks to good friends and even better drinks, I'm sure you'll see something you like and I don't have any expectations so read away, you reader.

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A Good Love Story Has No Time Limit/Good Love Stories Have No Time Limit (My Monologue)

2011-06-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

Now that I am getting older, well my mid twenties, I can't see the horizon as clearly as I could before I met you. I didn't even want you in the beginning, because I wanted this time to be different and it was, but now I can't stop thinking about how happy you are with out me.

I've never felt like I wanted to cry all the time, but held it in, until today, all while you were getting settled for the second time in LA... If you think about it, its like you got the chance to go back in time and you got to choose the path you didn't take the first time, except you still met me and you still left me and I feel all the repercussions of your decision. Thats not how I was told time travel works. Lets just say I wish it was that way so I wouldn't have to remember you, just like you'll forget me.

I still have yet to see your face since I dropped you off at the airport. I honestly feel like it isn't real. Like I am in a bad dream where I can't get to you and I am watching from Facebook like its the other side of a mirror. You and I, we weren't finished. I can feel it pump through me like a light that starts in my lungs and makes it down to my toes and all the way thru to my eyes, but turns out those are just tears. Not because you hurt me by doing wrong, but in fact, you have broken my heart. I didn't realize how invested I was. Yet I do remember all the new things I tried with you in a relationship and they were working and I know you felt it too until I let you go on the plane. So really I am back to our "self destructing ways." Its my fault I couldn't convince you to stay with me. I knew you felt more with me, than anyone in a long time, you just went back to a familiar area and a familiar face. You were so close to embracing something different and better, but you went back for "history."

I keep thinking of when we will see each other again. Will I rush a speech and ruin something we might of had as friends? Or will I wait for you to speak to me? I wish I could think of a way where we both walk away satisfied, knowing we loved. I wish that was all I needed and you wish it was all you had to do, because, unlike me, you keep having luck and haven't been out of a relationship since you were in your teens...

I know my honesty isn't something you really want now, you'd want me to lie to you and tell you I hate you for what you did to me because that would be the easy way out. The truth is the world isn't big enough to get away from each other.

I cried when I left you at the airport, not because I was sad that you would be gone for "only a month," no, it was because I felt you pull away from me, like the last time we would ever see each other. I knew it was the end, its the reality. I finally wanted to commit to someone, and for me, that was a feat. And in my mind I had, but you got what you wanted.

You said I made your night, the last night you were in town. You saw me from across the bar as you were surrounded by other women and you looked me dead in the eye and parted them like you couldn't be away from me for a minute longer, following the day before you said I was your girlfriend, you "movie momented" that all on your own. All of this was/is a huge deal to me, more than anything since this other boy named Conor, whom in the long run also let me down, five years ago. So I guess what I really want to say is that I don't trust anyone easily and since you made me feel safe with you I feel betrayed by you. You can't say sorry enough for something so deep. So I have decided I can't be your friend, at least not currently. But my fault for not leaving you in the first place when you gave that waiter money for talking to me like a whore. You didn't have my back then and I should have known then, but I wanted you to prove me wrong and that night in your van after Chris', you did! However, I did finally realize the night before you're last night in LA, at my show, the picture, the phone call, everything was all wrong. I couldn't stand it. So I decided I was just going to have fun with you one more time, you're the only one who would come to the dance floor with me and be as carefree as me. I could scream until my lungs dry out that I wish you would change your mind, but you wouldn't hear me. I love you. I read somewhere to say how you feel so you won't regret not saying it, I believe them.

Truth be told, I really wish I got the chance to say this to you in person.
So as I sit here and still get butterflies when I think about you a jillion times a day, I know I won't ever have what we had again...

But...

Wholeheartedly, I would do it all over again, but better, of course.

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The Reason, or Is There Always A Reason?

2011-06-23T02:34:00.001-07:00

All I can say to the boys who dedicated Otowns 'all or nothing' to me, is thank you for noticing... I wanna cuss, but I know it would feel unnatural. I just wish it wasn't so obvious... god, I know you have nothing to do with love, but could you not send it my way anymore, I'm tired and worn out from doing everything right and still not being the one. What is happening?

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Me, Working Hard.

2011-05-14T11:52:00.003-07:00

"Although native to beautiful Colorado, Ilissa Mayrose could not be in a better place that matches her wit, charm, beauty and humor quite like Los Angeles. Ilissa's main focus is Dancing and Modeling, but with a Bachelors in Film she likes to say she's the 'Jane of all trades.' Her talents include acting, dancing, singing, makeup, gymnastics, modeling and even truck driving! She is the alternative girl next door with amazing tattoos and an even more amazing smile! Her philosophy: 'live the life you've imagined.'

She performs at the The Whisky a Go Go , as BLUSH Go Go, on the weekends and is also known as Rosie Reform in the Rock n Roll Burlesque troupe 'The Pinup Girls; created by Julia 'Vixen' Romeo. They perform at the Viper Room and King King.

She loves karaoke almost as much as she loves a good cheeseburger! Ilissa also enjoys good and bad horror flicks. Ilissa is the next best thing to hit Hollywood, so keep an eye for this starlet! She's gonna be breakin hearts and taking names."

-LA...Xpress Magazine

Ilissa Mayrose
Dancer//Singer//Makeup//Model
illdescript16@gmail.com
Hollywood, CA

Twitter
ModelMayhem Model Page
ModelMayhem Makeup Page
Ilissa Mayrose Undiscovered Blog

CURRENTLY:

Go Go Dancer for The World Famous Whisky a Go Go as Blush Go Go!
Dances Every Weekend and Has A Main Show once a Month, Starting Back Up in The End Of June!!! Come See Whisky a Go Go Girls!!!

Burlesque Dancer/Choreographer, Rosie Reform, for The Pinup Girls! You can buy tickets for our shows on our website: The Pinup Girls. You get a discount for buying them online or from your friendly neighborhood Pinup Girl! "Purchase Tickets!"

Don't Think, Not Right Now. (NOTE TO SELF)

2011-05-08T22:48:00.000-07:00

How come I can only see what I want to see in cute photos of beautifully, happy couples? Obviously they don't take pictures of the hard times, the fights, the terrible txt messages, or the thoughts like "why hasn't he called?" or "she couldn't possibly be into me."

Isn't it a terrible feeling when you have the best, mutual, time together and then one side decides its break time? No. Shame on you, what did I say in the title??? "Don't think, Not right now," this is not the time to think. This is the time to show each other your independence and interest in one another.

You know what's a dirty, awful, terrible, "you do it all the time because you're human," word is? Over-analyze... I shutter at the thought! The best part is, we don't have to... You do it because you want to. You want to find a flaw before you can fully trust the other person. Unfortunately you are on a path of self sabotage, destruction. Cool your jets! Pump the breaks! Be kind... rewind. You know a better way to focus your newly found infatuation/love/friendship energy is? ME neither, but I'm working on it. Everyone is different. I accept that and I shall move forward. I have been wanting to get back into... oh wait, back to my point...

The only reason you want to hear from your soon to be counter part is so that you feel relieved that they are thinking about you too. Trust that. HAVE FAITH! Chances are they can't wait to see you as much as you can't wait to see them. (Even if you got a txt that showed absolutely no interest in your plans for the day... so what, who cares. ) They're busy, and you should be too!

Think happy thoughts! Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Analyze you instead and be who you want to be. "You're on the right track, baby, cause you were born this way."

xoxo

illdescript

ps... Just incase it was unclear, I am thinkin about ya!

Music.

2011-04-03T14:41:00.000-07:00

This morning I have made it official. I am being haunted.

I had a terrible night sleep, kept seeing shadows move and let my imagination runaway. I had this terrible feeling to fall asleep and wander away from my body. I prayed and tried to keep my dream world separate. It worked for a little while, then I finally passed out.

I woke up, everything was normal. I am staying at a friends, Zach, he decides to take my dog out for a walk. We had just got done discussing what movie we would watch and decided on Tangled. He leaves. I go to take a shower. I heard a recorded sound of a tiny, old piano. I thought "oh, I've seen Tangled. No big deal if he started without me." The music stopped when I came out the bathroom. The TV was off and Zach nor my dog were even in the apartment. I am trying to be strong. I never thought this shit was real.

I can feel someone always near me, the sound waves to my ears bend and I can feel eyes on me.

I know its not the house. Because I have lived in 4 different areas in the last 6 months and stuff like this happened at each place. How do I make it stop?

Right now, Murphy is currently watching the ceiling and jolts his head from one side of the room to the other.

Help me.

Anyone else watch dog movies with their dog?

2011-01-11T23:53:00.001-08:00

Here we are! All dogs go to heaven!

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Here I Go!

2010-12-29T20:06:00.001-08:00

The Ultimate Guide to Motivation – How to Achieve Any Goal

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” - Henry Ford

One of the biggest challenges in meeting any goal, whether it be related to productivity, waking early, changing a habit, exercising, or just becoming happier, is finding the motivation to stick with it.

If you can stick with a goal for long enough, you’ll almost always get there eventually. It just takes patience, and motivation.

Motivation is the key, but it’s not always easy, day in and day out, to find that motivation.

What follows is a guide to motivation using what I’ve learned over the last few years in a series of successful accomplishments, goals and habit changes. I’ve had many failures, but also many successes, and I’ve learned a lot from all of them. Motivation has been a particularly important topic of exploration for me.

What Motivation Can Achieve
What have I accomplished using these motivation methods? Too much to mention, just in the last 3 years: running two marathons, learning to become an early riser, losing 40 pounds, completing a triathlon, becoming vegetarian, becoming more productive, starting a successful blog, writing a book, becoming organized, simplifying my life, quitting my day job, tripling my income, eliminating my debt, and much more.

That’s not intended to sound like bragging, but to show you what can be accomplished (just to start) if you find the right motivation.

How Does Motivation Work?
Before we get into specific methods, it’s useful to examine what motivation is, what it does, and how it works.

Motivation is what drives you toward a goal, what keeps you going when things get tough, the reason you get up early to exercise or work late to finish a project. There are all kinds of motivations, of course, from positive to negative. Having a boss threaten to fire you is motivation — you’ll likely work harder to complete a project with that kind of pressure. But I find that positive motivation works better — if it’s something you really want to do, you’ll do a much better job than to avoid something you don’t want (such as being fired).

So motivation, in its best form, is a way for you to want to do something. There may be times, for example, when you don’t feel like getting up early, and in those times you may seriously just want to sleep in (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But if you have a reason to want to get up early, something you really really want to do, you’ll jump up out of bed with excitement.

The best motivation, then, is a way for you to really want something, to get excited about it, to be passionate about it. Remember that, as there are many other types of motivation (especially negative), but in my experience, this is the kind that works the best.

There is only so long that you can go trying to motivate yourself to do something you don’t like to do, something you don’t want to do. But if you find ways to really want to do something, you can sustain your effort for much, much longer.

8 Ways to Motivate Yourself From the Beginning
I’ve found that it’s important to start out with the right motivation, because a good start can build momentum that you can sustain for a long time. If you start out right, you have a much better chance of succeeding. Here are some tips for starting out:

Start small. I’ve said this before, but that’s because it’s one of the most important tips in motivating yourself toward a goal. Don’t start out big! Start out with a ridiculously easy goal, and then grow from there. If you want to exercise, for example, you may be thinking that you have to do these intense workouts 5 days a week. No — instead, do small, tiny, baby steps. Just do 2 minutes of exercise. I know, that sounds wimpy. But it works. Commit to 2 minutes of exercise for one week. You may want to do more, but just stick to 2 minutes. It’s so easy, you can’t fail. Do it at the same time, every day. Just some crunches, 2 pushups, and some jogging in place. Once you’ve done 2 minutes a day for a week, increase it to 5, and stick with that for a week. In a month, you’ll be doing 15-20. Want to wake up early? Don’t think about waking at 5 a.m. Instead, think about waking 10 minutes earlier for a week. That’s all. Once you’ve done that, wake 10 minutes earlier than that. Baby steps.
One goal. Too many people start with too many goals at once, and try to do too much. And it saps energy and motivation. It’s probably the most common mistake that people make. You cannot maintain energy and focus (the two most important things in accomplishing a goal) if you are trying to do two or more goals at once. It’s not possible — I’ve tried it many times. You have to choose one goal, for now, and focus on it completely. I know, that’s hard. Still, I speak from experience. You can always do your other goals when you’ve accomplished your One Goal.
Examine your motivation. Know your reasons. Give them some thought … and write them down. If you have loved ones, and you are doing it for them, that is more powerful than just doing it for self-interest. Doing it for yourself is good too, but you should do it for something that you REALLY REALLY want to happen, for really good reasons.
Really, really want it. This is essentially the same as the above tip, but I want to emphasize it: it’s not enough to think it would be cool to achieve something. It has to be something you’re passionate about, something you’re super excited about, something you want deeply. Make sure that your goal meets these criteria, or you won’t stick with it for long.
Commit publicly. None of us likes to look bad in front of others. We will go the extra mile to do something we’ve said publicly. For example, when I wanted to run my first marathon, I started writing a column about it in my local daily newspaper. The entire island of Guam (pop. 160K) knew about my goal. I couldn’t back down, and even though my motivation came and went, I stuck with it and completed it. Now, you don’t have to commit to your goal in your daily newspaper, but you can do it with friends and family and co-workers, and you can do it on your blog if you have one. And hold yourself accountable — don’t just commit once, but commit to giving progress updates to everyone every week or so.
Get excited. Well, it starts with inspiration from others (see above), but you have to take that excitement and build on it. For me, I’ve learned that by talking to my wife about it, and to others, and reading as much about it as possible, and visualizing what it would be like to be successful (seeing the benefits of the goal in my head), I get excited about a goal. Once I’ve done that, it’s just a matter of carrying that energy forward and keeping it going.

Build anticipation. This will sound hard, and many people will skip this tip. But it really works. It helped me quit smoking after many failed attempts. If you find inspiration and want to do a goal, don’t start right away. Many of us will get excited and want to start today. That’s a mistake. Set a date in the future — a week or two, or even a month — and make that your Start Date. Mark it on the calendar. Get excited about that date. Make it the most important date in your life. In the meantime, start writing out a plan. And do some of the steps below. Because by delaying your start, you are building anticipation, and increasing your focus and energy for your goal.
Print it out, post it up. Print out your goal in big words. Make your goal just a few words long, like a mantra (”Exercise 15 mins. Daily”), and post it up on your wall or refrigerator. Post it at home and work. Put it on your computer desktop. You want to have big reminders about your goal, to keep your focus and keep your excitement going. A picture of your goal (like a model with sexy abs, for example) also helps.

20 Ways to Sustain Motivation When You’re Struggling
The second half of motivation is to keep yourself going when you don’t feel the same excitement as you did in the beginning. Perhaps something new has come into your life and your old goal isn’t as much of a priority anymore. Perhaps you skipped a day or two and now you can’t get back into it. Perhaps you screwed up and got discouraged.

If you can get yourself excited again, and keep going, you’ll get there eventually. But if you give up, you won’t. It’s your choice — accomplish the goal, or quit. Here’s how you can stop from quitting, and get to your goal:

Hold yourself back. When I start with a new exercise program, or any new goal really, I am rarin’ to go. I am full of excitement, and my enthusiasm knows no boundaries. Nor does my sense of self-limitation. I think I can do anything. It’s not long before I learn that I do have limitations, and my enthusiasm begins to wane. Well, a great motivator that I’ve learned is that when you have so much energy at the beginning of a program, and want to go all out — HOLD BACK. Don’t let yourself do everything you want to do. Only let yourself do 50-75 percent of what you want to do. And plan out a course of action where you slowly increase over time. For example, if I want to go running, I might think I can run 3 miles at first. But instead of letting myself do that, I start by only running a mile. When I’m doing that mile, I’ll be telling myself that I can do more! But I don’t let myself. After that workout, I’ll be looking forward to the next workout, when I’ll let myself do 1.5 miles. I keep that energy reined in, harness it, so that I can ride it even further.
Just start. There are some days when you don’t feel like heading out the door for a run, or figuring out your budget, or whatever it is you’re supposed to do that day for your goal. Well, instead of thinking about how hard it is, and how long it will take, tell yourself that you just have to start. I have a rule that I just have to put on my running shoes and close the door behind me. After that, it all flows naturally. It’s when you’re sitting in your house, thinking about running and feeling tired, that it seems hard. Once you start, it is never as hard as you thought it would be. This tip works for me every time.
Stay accountable. If you committed yourself publicly, through an online forum, on a blog, in email, or in person … stay accountable to that group of people. Commit to report back to them daily, or something like that, and stick to it! That accountability will help you to want to do well, because you don’t want to report that you’ve failed.
Squash negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This is one of the most important motivation skills, and I suggest you practice it daily. It’s important to start monitoring your thoughts, and to recognize negative self-talk. Just spend a few days becoming aware of every negative thought. Then, after a few days, try squashing those negative thoughts like a bug, and then replacing them with a corresponding positive thought. Squash, “This is too hard!” and replace it with, “I can do this! If that wimp Leo can do it, so can I!” It sounds corny, but it works. Really.
Think about the benefits. Thinking about how hard something is is a big problem for most people. Waking early sounds so hard! Just thinking about it makes you tired. But instead of thinking about how hard something is, think about what you will get out of it. For example, instead of thinking about how hard it is to wake early, focus on how good you’ll feel when you’re done, and how your day will be so much better. The benefits of something will help energize you.
Get excited again! Think about why you lost your excitement … then think about why you were excited in the first place. Can you get that back? What made you want to do the goal? What made you passionate about it? Try to build that up again, refocus yourself, get energized.
Read about it. When I lose motivation, I just read a book or blog about my goal. It inspires me and reinvigorates me. For some reason, reading helps motivate and focus you on whatever you’re reading about. So read about your goal every day, if you can, especially when you’re not feeling motivated.
Find like-minded friends. Staying motivated on your own is tough. But if you find someone with similar goals (running, dieting, finances, etc.), see if they’d like to partner with you. Or partner with your spouse, sibling or best friend on whatever goals they’re trying to achieve. You don’t have to be going after the same goals — as long as you are both pushing and encouraging each other to succeed. Other good options are groups in your area (I’m part of a running club, for example) or online forums where you can find people to talk to about your goals.
Read inspiring stories. Inspiration, for me, comes from others who have achieved what I want to achieve, or who are currently doing it. I read other blogs, books, magazines. I Google my goal, and read success stories. Zen Habits is just one place for inspiration, not only from me but from many readers who have achieved amazing things. I love, love, love reading success stories too.
Build on your successes. Every little step along the way is a success — celebrate the fact that you even started! And then did it for two days! Celebrate every little milestone. Then take that successful feeling and build on it, with another baby step. Add 2-3 minutes to your exercise routine, for example. With each step (and each step should last about a week), you will feel even more successful. Make each step really, really small, and you won’t fail. After a couple of months, your tiny steps will add up to a lot of progress and a lot of success.
Just get through the low points. Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for you. It comes and goes, and comes and goes again, like the tide. But realize that while it may go away, it doesn’t do so permanently. It will come back. Just stick it out and wait for that motivation to come back. In the meantime, read about your goal, ask for help, and do some of the other things listed here until your motivation comes back.
Get help. It’s hard to accomplish something alone. When I decided to run my marathon, I had the help of friends and family, and I had a great running community on Guam who encouraged me at 5K races and did long runs with me. When I decided to quit smoking, I joined an online forum and that helped tremendously. And of course, my wife Eva helped every step of the way. I couldn’t have done these goals without her, or without the others who supported me. Find your support network, either in the real world or online, or both.
Chart your progress. This can be as simple as marking an X on your calendar, or creating a simple spreadsheet, or logging your goal using online software. But it can be vastly rewarding to look back on your progress and to see how far you’ve come, and it can help you to keep going — you don’t want to have too many days without an X! Now, you will have some bad marks on your chart. That’s OK. Don’t let a few bad marks stop you from continuing. Strive instead to get the good marks next time.
Reward yourself often. For every little step along the way, celebrate your success, and give yourself a reward. It helps to write down appropriate rewards for each step, so that you can look forward to those rewards. By appropriate, I mean 1) it’s proportionate to the size of the goal (don’t reward going on a 1-mile run with a luxury cruise in the Bahamas); and 2) it doesn’t ruin your goal — if you are trying to lose weight, don’t reward a day of healthy eating with a dessert binge. It’s self-defeating.
Go for mini-goals. Sometimes large or longer-term goals can be overwhelming. After a couple weeks, we may lose motivation, because we still have several months or a year or more left to accomplish the goal. It’s hard to maintain motivation for a single goal for such a long time. Solution: have smaller goals along the way.
Get a coach or take a class. These will motivate you to at least show up, and to take action. It can be applied to any goal. This might be one of the more expensive ways of motivating yourself, but it works. And if you do some research, you might find some cheap classes in your area, or you might know a friend who will provide coaching or counseling for free.
Never skip two days in a row. This rule takes into account our natural tendency to miss days now and then. We are not perfect. So, you missed one day … now the second day is upon you and you are feeling lazy … tell yourself NO! You will not miss two days in a row!
Use visualization. Visualize your successful outcome in great detail. Close your eyes, and think about exactly how your successful outcome will look, will feel, will smell and taste and sound like. Where are you when you become successful? How do you look? What are you wearing? Form as clear a mental picture as possible. Now here’s the next key: do it every day. For at least a few minutes each day. This is the only way to keep that motivation going over a long period of time.
Be aware of your urges to quit, and overcome them. We all have urges to stop, but they are mostly unconscious. One of the most powerful things you can do is to start being more conscious of those urges. A good exercise is to go through the day with a little piece of paper and put a tally mark for each time you get an urge. It simply makes you aware of the urges. Then have a plan for when those urges hit, and plan for it beforehand, and write down your plan, because once those urges hit, you will not feel like coming up with a plan.
Find pleasure again. No one can stick to something for long if they find it unpleasant, and are only rewarded after months of toil. There has to be fun, pleasure, joy in it, every day, or you won’t want to do it. Find those pleasurable things — the beauty of a morning run, for example, or the satisfaction in reporting to people that you finished another step along the way, or the deliciousness of a healthy meal.

“Never, never, never, never give up.” - Winston Churchill

Truisms. These Are Things I Had to Figure Out, But Wish I Took into Consideration Earlier.

2010-12-29T17:45:00.000-08:00

TRUISMS (1978-1983)
JENNY HOLZER


A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY

A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS

A MAN CAN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER

A NAME MEANS A LOT JUST BY ITSELF

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD

A RELAXED MAN IS NOT NECESSARILY A BETTER MAN

A SENSE OF TIMING IS THE MARK OF GENIUS

A SINCERE EFFORT IS ALL YOU CAN ASK

A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS

A SOLID HOME BASE BUILDS A SENSE OF SELF

A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU

ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM

ABSTRACTION IS A TYPE OF DECADENCE

ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE

ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT

ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES

ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED

AMBITION IS JUST AS DANGEROUS AS COMPLACENCY

AMBIVALENCE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE

AN ELITE IS INEVITABLE

ANGER OR HATE CAN BE A USEFUL MOTIVATING FORCE

ANIMALISM IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY

ANY SURPLUS IS IMMORAL

ANYTHING IS A LEGITIMATE AREA OF INVESTIGATION

ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH

AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING

AT TIMES YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRUER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND

AUTOMATION IS DEADLY

AWFUL PUNISHMENT AWAITS REALLY BAD PEOPLE

BAD INTENTIONS CAN YIELD GOOD RESULTS

BEING ALONE WITH YOURSELF IS INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR

BEING HAPPY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE

BEING JUDGMENTAL IS A SIGN OF LIFE

BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU'RE A FOOL

BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT

BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS

CALM IS MORE CONDUCTIVE TO CREATIVITY THAN IS ANXIETY

CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING

CHANGE IS VALUABLE WHEN THE OPPRESSED BECOME TYRANTS

CHASING THE NEW IS DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY

CHILDREN ARE THE MOST CRUEL OF ALL

CHILDREN ARE THE HOPE OF THE FUTURE

CLASS ACTION IS A NICE IDEA WITH NO SUBSTANCE

CLASS STRUCTURE IS AS ARTIFICIAL AS PLASTIC

CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO STAY HONEST

CRIME AGAINST PROPERTY IS RELATIVELY UNIMPORTANT

DECADENCE CAN BE AN END IN ITSELF

DECENCY IS A RELATIVE THING

DEPENDENCE CAN BE A MEAL TICKET

DESCRIPTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METAPHOR

DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY

DISGUST IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO MOST SITUATIONS

DISORGANIZATION IS A KIND OF ANESTHESIA

DON'T PLACE TO MUCH TRUST IN EXPERTS

DRAMA OFTEN OBSCURES THE REAL ISSUES

DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION

DYING AND COMING BACK GIVES YOU CONSIDERABLE PERSPECTIVE

DYING SHOULD BE AS EASY AS FALLING OFF A LOG

EATING TOO MUCH IS CRIMINAL

ELABORATION IS A FORM OF POLLUTION

EMOTIONAL RESPONSES ARE AS VALUABLE AS INTELLECTUAL RESPONSES

ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ANYWAY

ENSURE THAT YOUR LIFE STAYS IN FLUX

EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU

EVERY ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE

EVERYONE'S WORK IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT

EVERYTHING THAT'S INTERESTING IS NEW

EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE DESERVE SPECIAL CONCESSIONS

EXPIRING FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID

EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY

EXTREME BEHAVIOR HAS ITS BASIS IN PATHOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY

EXTREME SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS LEADS TO PERVERSION

FAITHFULNESS IS A SOCIAL NOT A BIOLOGICAL LAW

FAKE OR REAL INDIFFERENCE IS A POWERFUL PERSONAL WEAPON

FATHERS OFTEN USE TOO MUCH FORCE

FEAR IS THE GREATEST INCAPACITATOR

FREEDOM IS A LUXURY NOT A NECESSITY

GIVING FREE REIN TO YOUR EMOTIONS IS AN HONEST WAY TO LIVE

GO ALL OUT IN ROMANCE AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY

GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOOTHING BUT RISKY

GOOD DEEDS EVENTUALLY ARE REWARDED

GOVERNMENT IS A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE

GRASS ROOTS AGITATION IS THE ONLY HOPE

GUILT AND SELF-LACERATION ARE INDULGENCES

HABITUAL CONTEMPT DOESN'T REFLECT A FINER SENSIBILITY

HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS IS DESPICABLE

HOLDING BACK PROTECTS YOUR VITAL ENERGIES

HUMANISM IS OBSOLETE

HUMOR IS A RELEASE

IDEALS ARE REPLACED BY CONVENTIONAL GOALS AT A CERTAIN AGE

IF YOU AREN'T POLITICAL YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SHOULD BE EXEMPLARY

IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR MARK GIVE UP

IF YOU HAVE MANY DESIRES YOUR LIFE WILL BE INTERESTING

IF YOU LIVE SIMPLY THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

IGNORING ENEMIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT

ILLNESS IS A STATE OF MIND

IMPOSING ORDER IS MAN'S VOCATION FOR CHAOS IS HELL

IN SOME INSTANCES IT'S BETTER TO DIE THAN TO CONTINUE

INHERITANCE MUST BE ABOLISHED

IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT

IT IS HEROIC TO TRY TO STOP TIME

IT IS MAN'S FATE TO OUTSMART HIMSELF

IT IS A GIFT TO THE WORLD NOT TO HAVE BABIES

IT'S BETTER TO BE A GOOD PERSON THAN A FAMOUS PERSON

IT'S BETTER TO BE LONELY THAN TO BE WITH INFERIOR PEOPLE

IT'S BETTER TO BE NAIVE THAN JADED

IT'S BETTER TO STUDY THE LIVING FACT THAN TO ANALYZE HISTORY

IT'S CRUCIAL TO HAVE AN ACTIVE FANTASY LIFE

IT'S GOOD TO GIVE EXTRA MONEY TO CHARITY

IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY CLEAN ON ALL LEVELS

IT'S JUST AN ACCIDENT THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR PARENTS

IT'S NOT GOOD TO HOLD TOO MANY ABSOLUTES

IT'S NOT GOOD TO OPERATE ON CREDIT

IT'S VITAL TO LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE

JUST BELIEVING SOMETHING CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN

KEEP SOMETHING IN RESERVE FOR EMERGENCIES

KILLING IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF

KNOWING YOURSELF LETS YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS

KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE ADVANCED AT ALL COSTS

LABOR IS A LIFE-DESTROYING ACTIVITY

LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL

LEISURE TIME IS A GIGANTIC SMOKE SCREEN

LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS

LOOKING BACK IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AGING AND DECAY

LOVING ANIMALS IS A SUBSTITUTE ACTIVITY

LOW EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD PROTECTION

MANUAL LABOR CAN BE REFRESHING AND WHOLESOME

MEN ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS BY NATURE

MODERATION KILLS THE SPIRIT

MONEY CREATES TASTE

MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS

MORALS ARE FOR LITTLE PEOPLE

MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT TO RULE THEMSELVES

MOSTLY YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

MOTHERS SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES

MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN

MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE

MYTH CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE

NOISE CAN BE HOSTILE

NOTHING UPSETS THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL

OCCASIONALLY PRINCIPLES ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN PEOPLE

OFFER VERY LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF

OFTEN YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU ARE SEXLESS

OLD FRIENDS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST

OPACITY IS AN IRRESISTIBLE CHALLENGE

PAIN CAN BE A VERY POSITIVE THING

PEOPLE ARE BORING UNLESS THEY ARE EXTREMISTS

PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT

PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO UNLESS THEY ARE INSANE

PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK WITH THEIR HANDS ARE PARASITES

PEOPLE WHO GO CRAZY ARE TOO SENSITIVE

PEOPLE WON'T BEHAVE IF THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE

PHYSICAL CULTURE IS SECOND BEST

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE IS ESCAPISM

PLAYING IT SAFE CAN CAUSE A LOT OF DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN

POLITICS IS USED FOR PERSONAL GAIN

POTENTIAL COUNTS FOR NOTHING UNTIL IT'S REALIZED

PRIVATE PROPERTY CREATED CRIME

PURSUING PLEASURE FOR THE SAKE OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU

PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY

RANDOM MATING IS GOOD FOR DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS

RECHANNELING DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES IS A SIGN OF MATURITY

RECLUSES ALWAYS GET WEAK

REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH IS IMPERATIVE

RELATIVITY IS NO BOON TO MANKIND

RELIGION CAUSES AS MANY PROBLEMS AS IT SOLVES

REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE

REPETITION IS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN

RESOLUTIONS SERVE TO EASE OUR CONSCIENCE

REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH CHANGES IN THE INDIVIDUAL

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN

ROUTINE IS A LINK WITH THE PAST

ROUTINE SMALL EXCESSES ARE WORSE THAN THEN THE OCCASIONAL DEBAUCH

SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR A BAD CAUSE IS NOT A MORAL ACT

SALVATION CAN'T BE BOUGHT AND SOLD

SELF-AWARENESS CAN BE CRIPPLING

SELF-CONTEMPT CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD

SELFISHNESS IS THE MOST BASIC MOTIVATION

SELFLESSNESS IS THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT

SEPARATISM IS THE WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING

SEX DIFFERENCES ARE HERE TO STAY

SIN IS A MEANS OF SOCIAL CONTROL

SLIPPING INTO MADNESS IS GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON

SLOPPY THINKING GETS WORSE OVER TIME

SOLITUDE IS ENRICHING

SOMETIMES SCIENCE ADVANCES FASTER THAN IT SHOULD

SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD

SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS ANTISOCIAL

STARVATION IS NATURE'S WAY

STASIS IS A DREAM STATE

STERILIZATION IS A WEAPON OF THE RULERS

STRONG EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STEMS FROM BASIC INSECURITY

STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST APPLIES TO MEN AND ANIMALS

SYMBOLS ARE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THINGS THEMSELVES

TAKING A STRONG STAND PUBLICIZES THE OPPOSITE POSITION

TALKING IS USED TO HIDE ONE'S INABILITY TO ACT

TEASING PEOPLE SEXUALLY CAN HAVE UGLY CONSEQUENCES

TECHNOLOGY WILL MAKE OR BREAK US

THE CRUELEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF DOWN

THE DESIRE TO REPRODUCE IS A DEATH WISH

THE FAMILY IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME

THE IDEA OF REVOLUTION IS AN ADOLESCENT FANTASY

THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION

THE IDIOSYNCRATIC HAS LOST ITS AUTHORITY

THE MOST PROFOUND THINGS ARE INEXPRESSIBLE

THE MUNDANE IS TO BE CHERISHED

THE NEW IS NOTHING BUT A RESTATEMENT OF THE OLD

THE ONLY WAY TO BE PURE IS TO STAY BY YOURSELF

THE SUM OF YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINES WHAT YOU ARE

THE UNATTAINABLE IS INVARIABLE ATTRACTIVE

THE WORLD OPERATES ACCORDING TO DISCOVERABLE LAWS

THERE ARE TOO FEW IMMUTABLE TRUTHS TODAY

THERE'S NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SENSE

THERE'S NOTHING REDEEMING IN TOIL

THINKING TOO MUCH CAN ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS

THREATENING SOMEONE SEXUALLY IS A HORRIBLE ACT

TIMIDITY IS LAUGHABLE

TO DISAGREE PRESUPPOSES MORAL INTEGRITY

TO VOLUNTEER IS REACTIONARY

TORTURE IS BARBARIC

TRADING A LIFE FOR A LIFE IS FAIR ENOUGH

TRUE FREEDOM IS FRIGHTFUL

UNIQUE THINGS MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE

UNQUESTIONING LOVE DEMONSTRATES LARGESSE OF SPIRIT

USING FORCE TO STOP FORCE IS ABSURD

VIOLENCE IS PERMISSIBLE EVEN DESIRABLE OCCASIONALLY

WAR IS A PURIFICATION RITE

WE MUST MAKE SACRIFICES TO MAINTAIN OUR QUALITY OF LIFE

WHEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS PEOPLE WAKE UP

WISHING THINGS AWAY IS NOT EFFECTIVE

WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DISCOVER ANY TRUTH

WORDS TEND TO BE INADEQUATE

WORRYING CAN HELP YOU PREPARE

YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY

YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS

YOU ARE THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE

YOU CAN LIVE ON THROUGH YOUR DESCENDANTS

YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT

YOU CAN'T FOOL OTHERS IF YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WHAT UNTIL YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF

YOU HAVE TO HURT OTHERS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY

YOU MUST BE INTIMATE WITH A TOKEN FEW

YOU MUST DISAGREE WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES

YOU MUST HAVE ONE GRAND PASSION

YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS

YOU CAN UNDERSTAND SOMEONE OF YOUR SEX ONLY

YOU OWE THE WORLD NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

YOU SHOULD STUDY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

YOUR ACTIONS AE POINTLESS IF NO ONE NOTICES

YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES

Now I Get It

2010-12-29T15:32:00.000-08:00

Reservoir Bitches!!!!

2010-11-23T17:25:00.000-08:00

Ya gotta admit, you thought about it. This epic movie first graced us with its imaginative story and gore back in 1992 almost 2 decades ago!!!! Can you believe it! I wonder how really old people feel! hahaha

Anywho, the Tres Stages Theater in Hollywood on Le Brea above the clever bar, The Woods, has put together the cast and ran a four week showcase of this epic tale, with Women!

I have the indefinite pleasure of being grand friends with one of the stars of this play, Miss Nicole Sykes, who was perfectly cast as Ms. Orange! Now, living up to Tim Roth as Mr. Orange, is a feat in itself, but if you even have the pleasure of knowing Ms. Sykes then you would know her charismatic personality can handle the job! And she did!

I was thoroughly impressed with the whole cast, but the best performances were by far, in order based on my personal favorites, Ms. Orange,played by the gal I mentioned above, who in her "45 minute dying until I come back to kill the bad guy" emulated it with perfection and is ultimately unique when submerged in role where she has to die... twice! Ms. Pink, Played by Natalie Denise Sperl, who has jokes and logic behind her character. She was quite good! Next is a tie between Jolie Cabot, played by Renata Green-Gaber and Ms. White, played by Angela Shin. These two had the best moments and I was so captivated that I forgot I was in a small black box theater! Props go to all the other amazing actresses who filled the theater with talent and such good motivation!

All in all, I underestimated the theater scene and am very proud of my friend and fellow actors for putting on such an amazing, untimely performance that I can forever speak highly about with friends, family and anyone who is in and out of the film industry!

Great work ladies!

If you did not get a chance to see this play, I'm sorry you missed a great show!

xox

Ok Christmas Needs To Count This Year!

2010-11-22T16:51:00.000-08:00

Shameless Wish List! :

Any and All MAC Makeup

I just really love this shirt; WildFox <3

Also WildFox

Love These PANTS!!! Wildfox

Cut Emo/Hipster Beanie! WildFox

My friend Zoie has this sweatshirt and I love it!

WildFox lol

The Minnie Muse Collection At Forever 21

The Popular among dancers Harem Pants

Forever 21

BeBe

H&M

I MEAN AN XBOX IS NEEDED, BUT THIS GAME WOULD BE AMAZING!

Of course I am the only person on this planet(apparently) who doesn't have one! lol

Any color is cool!

This is a Humidifier, its cheesy, but cute.

Buy Me Classes at IDA!

Or send money, it will be used for Dance!

Of Course Gift Cards!

PLEASE NO OLD NAVY lol

But everywhere else is cool, even the home stores!

I already know what I am getting more than Half of you so don't worry!

I LOVE CARDS IN THE MAIL! FAVORITE THING!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-22T15:59:00.001-08:00

It is now the end of the year where al the best holidays come like pirates raiding a ship!

I want to take so many photos this year! I want them to have a theme, so be excited!!!

HAppy Turkey Day and Call Your Mom!

Kimora Lee Simmons Flash Mob!

2010-11-16T14:58:00.000-08:00

Its the KSL crew! We are doing a FLash MOB for Kimora Lee Simmons!!!

All Info Is Here!!!!

WATCH THE FLASHMOB!!!

KLS FLASHMOB!

I Think All Are Within Reach

2010-11-07T15:35:00.001-08:00

GOALS:

- GET AN AGENT!

o Dance

o Acting

- Improve My Memory Skills to Attack Cold Reading Aud. 100%

- Become a Series Regular on A Major TV Show

- Book a Major Movie Role

- Make demo reel

o Acting

o Modeling

o Dancing

o Singing

- Stay Fit!

o Stretch More

o Go on More Walks!

- MAKE MORE MONEY!

- Network more at screenings/events

o Find Out When and Where

o Attend More Film Festivals

- GET HEADSHOTS RE-DONE

o Edit Them Nicely

o Print out a bunch!

o SEND SEND SEND!

- Make Hair a More Natural Looking Color, But Still Light Blonde

- Learn more dance moves for work and auditions

o Specialty

§ Pole

§ Beyonce

§ Shakira

§ Leg Extensions

- Practice Songs You Love That Are In Your Range

- Take a dance Class Once or Twice a Month

o Samba

o Ballroom

o Burlesque

o Hip Hop

o Lyrical

- Drink More Water!

- Find Good, Fun Christmas Presents ;)

I fought the Law and the Law won.

2010-10-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

Humiliation was the first word that came to mind. This weekend was a disaster. I pretended that everything was going to be wonderful and movie like drama. I had dreamed about this moment for the last 2 years for christ sake!

he was finally going to be here, in California, but wait to see me? No, I was just a reason to visit Hollywood with his friend. I should have know from that moment he told me he wouldn't come to see me alone... I had no idea how immature all of this was. I should have just recognized the signs and moved on, but how could I? I had been telling myself that this one person was my future... God, was I wrong.

The day started out hectic. He would txt me once saying "well I almost made it...," so was that up for interpretation? I thought he gave up half way thru and went back home... He never got back to me that day. So there is hitch one; not communicating with me properly?

Then as I walked down Hollywood Blvd looking for the two of them, I see them and I just saw in his face how unexcited he was to see me... I felt at that moment that it wasn't what I thought it was. So I played along for the night and he backed away from me almost every time. I felt so defeated. As the night wound down I let them stay at my apartment and nothing out of the ordinary happened. I couldn't sleep, and every time he turned towards me felt like he was pushing me away. I wasn't going down without a fight.

The next day I hope to erase from my memory completely.
I offered to go to Irvine with them to go hiking and to the beach. While his friend thought I was cool, I could feel this hatred seep thru as it took over my thoughts, he tried his best to keep his distance and say snide things to me such as; "Oh my roommate called so I thought something was wring with my cat, that is why I hung up on you while you were lost on the high way," and "You can't be sad if you are coming with us," and my favorite thing of all(after spending 2 years avoiding all men so I could prove to this jackass how faithful I was, all the while why he dated a girl in Colorado, and all the while only telling me how much he missed me when he was drunk.) I said "I think this was a bad idea me coming, you obviously down't want me here." and without skipping a beat he said "Well its up to you."

I have been furious before, and this time I couldn't control it. I screamed and kicked and called my mom and my sister and my friend Brittany, all who know everything about this boy and only my little sister believed us to be "soulmates," but everyone else really knew him and was relieved I finally saw what was really happening.

Two years of my life... He had no idea how hard I fought for him and now I will never tell him because if you noticed in any of the quote above, there was never a "sorry I made you feel that way" or "Ilissa, you know I know me and you have been through a lot together, but I don't want this to progress."

Maybe something better with that last one, but communicating to me how you are feeling and letting me believe you wanted to Marry me is bullshit. So now you will hopefully know why the last thing I will ever say to him was "you're a Jerk."

And he responded with a sublte "U act like were in the 3rd grade."

A Note.

2010-10-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

I never really care to vent, because I usually keep a pretty cool head all the time. I am a diffuser. A situation diffuser. I know my new job may put me into a lot of crazy situations, but I need to set some things straight.

I may not have picked the most likable girls to be friends with, but everyone else smokes weed a lot more than I do and/or is busy doing other things or just isn't at my level(not saying its higher or lower, just saying.) I have moved in with one of the Go Gos, and I want to be here. She is just a hot head. She doesn't listen to anyone and talks over everyone, usually saying how much she doesn't understand a situation or how everyone around her is wrong and how she has to say some snide comment every time I try to get us out of a situation. Myself, needs no defending, but I am tired of defending someone who is morally wrong most of the time. I almost got fired from a job that I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR, because she wouldn't listen to our boss, I just so happen to be there and was understanding, but couldn't actually say anything because they all were talking over each other!

I am not a trouble maker, I don't like being late to anything, and I would never jeopardize my role at the Whisky.

A side note: The second night we had ever worked, my boss entrusted me with the role of "leader" and unfortunately I was the only one in the room who heard her say so. I didn't want to seem snooty to all the other girls so I did my best to tell them how the night was going to go. Too bad everyone's ego got wild. Two girls were talking away from each other, no one actually paid attention to what I told them, so everyone did their own thing and, of course, we get in trouble for messing up. Who got blamed, me, but everyone would have listened if they knew my Boss put me in charge. Without giving me a chance, she immediately took my power, that I never really had, away and gave it to one of the girls who was freaking out. AGAIN, in this situation I never lost my mind or got mad. It was unfair. And I would make a damn good leader, even though I do it anyway while at work, I just wish I was treated that way.

Moving on, we had to each make our own "FAN PAGES" on Facebook so people won't stalk us, but become fans of our dancing and come to more shows to see us. Makes sense. Though while me and my friend were getting a "talking to" I said, "why hasn't anyone else made their "FAN" page yet?" She lied to me to make me feel bad, and said everyone had. Lies. Four of us have, three of us have yet to make theirs... Thanks Boss, I wanna be a star, but I am pissed that you said that.

I want this more than anything and I will fight for my spot on this team, I will be the leader and I will be absolutely humble about it. I am nice, sincere and I love to dance. This is what I have been wanting to do my whole life, I just couldn't make sense of it til now.

So if you are listening, reading or anything, I worked for this, and will continue working for this. I will not be pushed around.

Dog Days of Los Angeles

2010-09-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

Usually one would describe 'dog days' as hot, humid and unenjoyable, I don't disagree. I unfortunately started a new TV series... Nip/Tuck. Ooops. Although I have been using my netflix to its full potential, here are some of the movies I have watched!

1. Remember Me- terribly tragic.
2. Julie and Julia - funny and great story.
3. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. - Cute, Monkey was my favorite part.
4. The Princess Frog. - I laughed a lot.
5. She's Out of My League. - Very Funny.
6. Up in the Air. - Well deserving, but not as good as I thought it would be.
7. The Crazies. - Well Done!
8. Greta. - Hilary Duff, is really good, she just tries too hard sometimes. But I like her.

Also the entire season 4 of Nip/tuck...

Ugh so glad it is Thursday!
I am now an official employee of the Whisky a Go Go and soon to be a big party in my favor(with 4 other girls of course!)
And Also I will be preforming at Nokia Live this Saturday as a back up dancer for fabulously talented Keira Kang!

Me and My new pal, Zoei, are going to make her look reeeaaalll good, oh yeah!

Come to the WHISKY ON SATURDAY NIGHT!

Things Put Off

2010-09-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

Today I actually did my makeup and really got ready for my day... at 2:30pm, but nonetheless, I got ready!

What comforts you most?

Things that I have found out about myself in the last week and half:

I really dislike sleeping on floors...
I need a phone, not want one or could live without one, need. There are way too many things going on during these days in California and I need to be updated and people need to update me.
I should start dressing like I want to work. I love me a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but my wardrobe needs an update...
I like being online. I scan through over 1,000 pages a day... and I am never bored.
I need a massage once a month, something to do with carrying a backpack with a terrabite and a 15inch computer around and the scoliosis I have a hard time acknowledging that I have...
I actually, truly enjoy driving. So much so that I will daze off into thought and miss my exit by 13 miles. :)
I love when I get an email that I can respond back to immediately. Quit spamming me, I can't actually talk back to you!
I hate that I have never really shown people what I can do, I get nervous just like a lot of people and I tell them "no, its ok I can't really do that anyways," its a lie. I can, and I will when I have at least one drink in me. (oh don't judge, you probably have the same issues, you just wish someone would justify the fact that alcohol is bad for you during life situations and big decisions) Grow some balls, shoot that whiskey and get on with your day.

I don't show very many people what I write. I am nervous that the people who do know me, will be either embarrassed or they won't like my ideas. (no thats true, I wish I could say fuck the world, really I would love to.)

I took a picture today. I really want to know what I want. It difficult when you want to do so many things, then you end up doing none of them. Right now I am currently employed with RSM RobbyStarbuckMedia, as a personal assistant. The company produces music videos for very well known bands and I finally get to be on the crew side. Don't get me wrong, I love being on camera, I have just realized I am not that good at it. I will practice, because my dad always says practice makes perfect. And I truly believe that.

I have started my own music video inspiration file thanks to my new boss and I am sort of getting the hang of all this industry stuff. Even though I thought I already knew how everything worked. I am going to start posting what movies I have watched, because I feel like I have watched a lot of them and I have to start remembering what I saw.

MOST RECENT:

1) Up in the Air

2) Its Complicated

3)What Happens in Vegas

4)Catfish

There is way more, but I can't think of them.

Alright, c'est la vie for now!

Its Like I'm Not Real

2010-09-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

It all started back two Wednesdays ago. I can't even believe its been 2 weeks, already. I was cast in a music video, but ended up working for them on the production side instead, which was awesome. I got hired on to be the Directors Assistant. Even more amazing.

Ever since I have:
1) Locked my keys in my car on two separate occassions.
2) Lost my phone, in which turns out I need more than I thought.
3) Have spent more money driving there, then making it.
4) Got my car towed, but bright side, they let me have it back for free.
5) Have not managed to get a new phone for a week.
6) Haven't done laundry in about a month.

And ya know... None of this made me hinder. I literally have just rolled with it. I figured out what I need to do and then did what I had to. Minus the phone thing...

But, you see, this is still a job of a lifetime. My boss is cool, his family is great and I am actually excited to be the go to person when something is in need. This is one of, as many of you know, my dreams that I actually attended film school for. Music videos are something I am highly interested in.

So my point was that I don't feel real. I feel asleep, this is a very elaborate dream.

Gotta Keep Movin On.

2010-07-12T00:33:00.000-07:00

I write to escape.

I watched a really under rated movie tonight. Its been on Hulu for almost a year now. I kept seeing ads for it and thought it was a porn. I was wrong. Now I am wondering if it has won any awards.

"Real Life Ain't Like the Movies... Life is just a bunch of stories you go thru and they all end sooner or later."
- Stevie Long as "Stanny" in Strictly Sexual.

I don't know why, but I teared up a little at the end of this movie. Thats a lie... I do know why and to clear it up a little bit, the first thing I wrote down was "How do I be better at me?" Depressing? I'm not sure. All I can tell from my reaction is that I am terrible at everything when it comes to dating. Yeah, I am pretty entertaining, but there is never meeting half way. I'm attracted, but don't know if I'm serious. I want to be serious, but I don't know what to do after the initial flirting and getting to know the persons last name... I never feel good enough and anyone who knows me will tell you otherwise. I just don't know what I am so unsure about!

Although there is always someone I am interested in, or two, or three... I never am able to be alright with just one due to the fear of rejection. Absolute confidence shaking. Then I feel like a hypocrite when I can't help getting jealous if they have two or three. Its a never ending cycle that I can't get out of.

You want to be original and exciting and thought provoking so you can keep the conversation light and fun. But I can't do all the work all the time... I want someone who is interested in talking back to me about what they want. I keep finding these really great guys, but have no idea how to keep them around. Everyone always says "be yourself," and this whole time I believed that doing just that was enough. Now I come to find you have to compromise and share. Some of the blame is on me.

I say I hate playing games, and I always seem to get the "you're confusing" line. I'm either too witty for my own good or I have no idea what I am talking about. A pet peeve of mine. Another, when I am talking to someone and they get back to me on all different forms of media... I just want a phone call.

You would think this was me complaining a lot about something I wasn't shaken by, but here I am putting me down. Its weird and I think I need a vacation. Aside from that I really do like someone, or I think I do. Its not helping when he is kind of "hanging out" with another girl who is probably amazing as me, but I feel like I am in a game show like wipeout or ninja warrior... I guess I am going with the flow too much and not really figuring out what I want.

So there you go. Thats why I teared up... Stupid life quote.

Hollywood and TV Shows

2010-06-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

The life and times of my viewing pleasure on Hulu:

I was a hermit for about 3 months while I was watching all 6 seasons of LOST. Though now I couldn't even tell you the names of half the cast because I have actually blocked most of that emotional roller coaster/time warping hullabaloo! Though I can still rank my top favorite shows based on storyline, character rise/demise, comedy, and actors. I know, you may think it was or still is a waste of time, but I beg to differ. If I watch drama happen on TV, it hardly ever happens in the mitst of my own life. So here we go!

Number 10. THE SIMPSONS
-Still holding strong after 464 episodes, it still makes me laugh out loud.

Number 9. FAMILY GUY
-It is just impressive how the creators stay true to themselves and fuck with everyone else to the limits of broadcasting substandards.

Number 8. ALWAYS SUNNY
-I hated it at first, but I cant help but to slip into a conversation with out bring up ASiP!

Number 7. LOST

-Again, with all my hermitting why is it not #1? READ ON!

Number 6. GLEE
-I know what you're thinking, "I thought she'd put it as #1, wrong, it is amazing, yes, but I think everyone is tired of hearing about how much I like Glee, but it is an amazing show!

Number 5. JUSTIFIED

-Gotta love those westerns. I mean seriously, this show has the drama of extremes.

Number 4. COMMUNITY
-After an awful start this show had turned the heads and bent over to cough. I love it!

Number 3. THE OFFICE
-Its been on top for every season its on. Too many characters to love!

Number 2. 30 ROCK
-Tina Fey is a genius.

OH CAN YOU SEE IT NOW?

CAN YOU GUESS MY FAVORITE SHOW?

ok, you got it.

Number 1. PARKS AND REC
-DUH! I mean Amy Poehler is my hero.

So Some honorable mentions:

KYLE XY, I'm hooked on Matt Dallas, even if he is (Gay) shhh!

Things that have had a long enough run:
Gossip Girl.

Shows that should be cancelled:
Pretty Little Liars, its basically SORORITY ROW TURNED TV SHOW, HOW WILL IT END!?!?!?
The Gates No offense, but Vampires will probably become real if any more shows or movies are made about them!

Hope you enjoyed!!!

Book ME!

2010-06-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

Here here! I have been working for the advancement in my modeling career and have found amazing photographers in LA and we have made some images! Here is my new modeling book!!

SOME NEW AND SOME OLD, I AM ON MY WAY! NEXT STEP: MANAGEMENT!

Email if Interested! ILLDESCRIPT16@GMAIL.COM

I fought the Law and the Law Lost.

2010-06-01T12:48:00.001-07:00

You Just Gotta Believe.

2010-05-04T17:05:00.001-07:00

As many of you two follower that I have, I auditioned for Glee a couple weeks ago! I am way to excited to see what that future holds! I don write this blog so everyone can read it, but eh, we will manage a bigger, more diverse crowd when I become a main character on Glee. This show has changed me, I feel better about me, about the way I see things and the way I act towards the beloved Hollywood "it" crowd. My family and extended family all know about this adventure I am currently on via Facebook, because now anyone and their mother's cat can join, but as reluctant as I am to have them see some rather questionable, yet explainable photos, I was pleased out of my mind when I recieved a letter from my Grandmother, Helen, in her late 80s, who doesnt own a computer, had written me and explained that she loved my audition and hopes I get the part. After I read all this, there is absolutley no doubt in my mind that I will somehow hear from the shows executives soon and be the next main character of the soon to be even more popular due to my attendance, show of GLEE! Thank you all who love me and find me ravishly entertaining and voted!!!! I Believe! I Believe!

This last weekend I got the chance to hangout with some really amazing people. It was a sad time because it was a going away party for one of the funniest people I know, whom I've only been friends with for a couple of months, but we went together like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler(thats who we refer to eachother as). But soon enough she will be back on the west coast making me laugh again in the near future.

I have been going to a nice little karaoke place called happy endings, for the last 2 weeks. It's always people I have met in Hollywood, its all so crazy to see people I've met in different times while residing in LA, come to this perfectly named establishment and hangout. I like it very much. Aside from being purposely flashed last night, I think I have finally found my niche crowd, that always feels good.

but yet again I am off to make some cupcakes probably and will be more excited soon!!!

xoxo

GO GIVE ME STARS FOR GLEE!

2010-04-26T15:12:00.003-07:00

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=104552368

Destiny. My Life is Slowly Turning into Lost.

2010-04-26T15:12:00.001-07:00

My life is beginning to parallel most episodes of Lost. Isn't that funny how your favorite shows slowly become a weird alternate reality that you are in?

I feel like Jack. Things that are paralleling

Forget What Ya Heard!

2010-04-16T19:41:00.001-07:00

There there my little lost mind. Everything always turns out for the better, is that not what everyone believes? I mean, when you think about it, you never just wait around for it to get "better," unless you love being walked on. So for the sake of arguement let's just believe that you make the situation better in due time.

I live in a quaint loft on the very southwest side of Downtown LA. I love my friends, and I'm happy to help out when I can. Soon, I don't think I will be sane enough to "help out." How do you tell the person who is taking advantage of you that they need to move all of their things out before I go nuts and loose some friends? You don't you just ignore things until they "get better."

On a huge side note; I am currently inline to see KICKASS! and my good friend Amy is visiting from Colorado. We had quite the day today as we went to little Tokyo, Ikea of Burbank and now the Theatre!

Yesterday we did a ton as well! Hollywood Blvd was full of racecars and beautiful men driving them, well you couldn't really tell if they were beautiful... they all had hats and sunglasses on :/

Who watched the season premiere of GLEE!?

This weekend I will be perfecting my audition and submitting mid to late next week! Super stoked and well deserved! Destiny, Ima knockin!

Happy Friday! find me on FB and Twitter <3

I am a Run Away

2010-03-24T01:11:00.001-07:00

Low and behold the great epihanies at midnight! Here I was trying to tell myself that I don't need a man in my life. I run as far as I can when anyone tries to get close. I have finally figured out some reasoning as to why I feel this way and what I want to do to change it.
One of the greatest lines of our generation was said so recent, most persons have missed out on it. "you alone have ambition, but the key to everything is collaboration," meaning we should help out one another. The ones who have figured this out have already made it! Why can't I find people who want to work just as much as I do?
Not even that, how about someone who wants the same things I do and in the long run, we actually do support eachother?
All this time I was making myself think I didn't need anyone to get things done that I wanted to do. My life has been a 3 hr movie with no hard work and no ending. So what do I need to do?
Friends and family of myself and people I know, and love should come together and do something great!
I can't even begin to tell you how insignificant I feel wanting to be an actress, almost all my life, yet the people who are close to me only see it as a new "flavor of the week" type deal and I am here to prove them wrong. Though why can't we all work together?
Where are my film making friends who love to write and have an amazing story to tell? Where are my marketing friends who make the best websites and want to do that for a living? Where are all my musician friends who want to be in a band, and play live shows just to play? Where are all those people who are donating to causes by themselves?
LETS HELP EACH OTHER OUT!
Seriously, I know I'm great at somethings and horrible at others, so where I fall short, others should be strong.

So lets all collaborate and do something big, bc we are only here for a little while so why not make it count?

I want someone who needs me and I them.

thanks for reading,

xoxo

Want to Write My Love.

2010-03-05T03:41:00.001-08:00

i love this world, i love this time.
all is different, all is fine.
the things that matter most,
lost matter at all.
you need, you want, you feel, you lost.
for the moments missed and the ones you cant live without.
the one thing i wish is the first time i doubt.
never given a chance, yet loved you fully.
felt the part, but never enough.
two separate births brought together by passion.
years and years will follow. ill sideline the thought, you'll fake yours until you see.
like breakfast at tiffany's, the story will never end

xoxo

Love and Pink's

2010-02-23T01:40:00.001-08:00

The day was somewhat of a waste, minus the small txt message from the love of my life, but then the night started.

i was unprepared, embarrassed and regretful. but then i got up to do my scene and the man that was critiquing us giggled and said "that was amazing."

this whole acting thing felt like just another flavor of the week in my world of "i can do it all," but right at that moment i knew that i have the brightest future in this business.

then, for the very first time since i've moved to LA, i went to Pink's hot dogs with Brittany. i squealed out of the car and jumped around like it was christmas and i knew i was getting all 5 spice girl dolls this year. it was amazing! they do need to get collectors cups like hot dog heaven in orlando, just sayin!

then we headed to blockbuster for our weekly ritual after monday class and get 5 new randomly decided movies. then my dream guy decides to call me. (its a long story, but we rarely talk, so this is huge.) knows i love elton john, for some reason, and he called me just so i could here it, im guessing while he was at a show. but it doesnt matter. he loves me and its great.

giddy from compliments that a well know casting director bestowed upon me and my future husband letting me know im the one. its all so fairly tale and indescribable.

night babies xoxo

"Call Me Dead"

2010-02-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

Call Me Dead from Andrew Stoneham on Vimeo.

A SMALL VIDEO I DID IN FLORIDA TO START MY CAREER AS A HORROR FILM QUEEN. haha

The Editor

2010-02-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

It's not everyday you find someone like me.

www.modelmayhem.com/ilissamayrose316

Where O Where Can He Be?

2010-02-21T13:04:00.000-08:00

Aside for the complete lack of love in my current living area, I have a ton of it in another state. (this is not sex life)

Although there are many a great guy in los angeles, I still feel unhitched to let anyone in and this goes for everyone I know. You may have been "the one" once, but if I don't talk to you know or tell you how much I love you once a month, I am sorry, but its not you!

There is a reason I have been avoiding the "relationship game" here in California. Does anyone really know their soul mate? Seriously, its a big thing, and awfully true for the strong hearted woman I am to even think that I could be loved past a bed sheet. But for those of you who reaaaallly know me. I do love someone. I've tried to embrace it, I've tried to get rid of it, I've driven across the country 4 times and 2 of those times were for this person. Why go thru life not taking chances? Deep down I know and have always known he was it.

Anyone else who isn't a character in a movie know what thats like?

On side note, I am starting the process of writing and producing my own TV show. It's a huge leap, but I'd rather fall knowing I tried to be great, instead of never getting past the gate due to fear of repercussions. Right?

So I will be back with more news on that probably by the end of the week.

ps has anyone seen "Make it or Break it?" If you ever wanted to know what life was like in my high school years, this show is the prequel to my life now lol.

xoxox

PS. Just because you "know" someone, doesn't stop them from talking shit about you, especially if you are at fault. Think about it.

"Things I hate, scratch that, Things I find Hilarious"

2010-02-19T17:10:00.000-08:00

1. Girls who come to LA to find a husband. They're not looking for that here, why are you?
2. Everyone outside "Hollywood" is not white.
3. Bloggers who are substantially awful at grammar.
4. Lists of boyfriends.
5. Rare, but true, Virgins in LA. idk, I feel like its a paradox?
6. The "Man Phrase"- "No M.A.A.M" = No Musicians, Artists, Actors or Models. Huge LAWLS!!!
7. This list. I laughed the whole way through.
8. Personal Opinions. (still laughing)
9. Being "Defriended" on facebook. "Defriended" is not an actual word, but is being added to the Websters dictionary in 2011.
10. Reality. Life is lived better when it is interpreted through Art.
11. People who force a personality and/or sarcasm.
12. The Woman who founded EBAY is running for California Governor this year.
13. The fact that I could even put 13(most of which were inspired by one person) things together!

Enjoy LA

xoxo

Face...Broke. New Place to Live?

2010-01-26T17:21:00.000-08:00

The Best way to let someone know you have recently stopped being friends is defiantly through Facebook, where people delete, add and fantasize about the friendships online. Be a bigger person and talk things out... Seriously. Not saying that whole "grow up" conversation because, frankly, that stuff is childish.

Aside from the death to friendships through facebook, the rain has yet to break me :) I am looking for new places to live and man oh man I think I have found the greatest place.

BIG WINDOWS, BIG LIVING SPACE, Rooftop pool area, Library, Gym, Parking included, pets (if I ever get my PUG!!) and of course my closest friends actually live right there! Phew!

I know sometimes I am blunt, I'm not sorry for it. Somethings just need to be said. This life is way too short to just take what you're given... I'm not gonna sit around and listen to bullshit if I don't have to :) Same goes for everyone else, right?

Thanks LA!

A Couple of Reviews

2010-01-24T01:23:00.000-08:00

Alrighty I love TV shows, ironically enough I do not have cable. So I watch the ever so FREEEEEE Hulu.

I have made a valiant effort to keep up with shows such as Modern Family, Dollhouse, Community, Parks and Recreations, Bones and the Office.

First off the Season Finale of Dollhouse.... WHATTT! Hell yes. So its been mid blowing to see how well Joss Whedon has left a mark once again in the TV Drama genre! I love love love it!

I also laughed very hard at Community this week! The Joel has done it again! Just thought I'd say how much I loved this week in TV!
Can't wait to be apart of it! ;)

See you next time!

Its been awhile!!! Welcome back!

2010-01-22T01:09:00.000-08:00

Ok this is going to be so much fun! I have had one crazy week and all its doing is still rolling!
Late last week my fabulous best friend in the whole wide world came out to Cali for a visit and as she got off the plane we headed straight to a fashion show I was proudly apart of! The line was called EH! by Fartbox productions and hair done by GQ Cuts! Man what a night! Here are some photos of just how awesome it was!

Oh yeah! Check it out! So I have actually fallin madly in love with this hair and decided to keep it! I have been working on head shots but my image has changed like 4 times this week! haha my photographers love me! Casting directors, eh they'll learn to love me!

So me Jenny and Brittany spent the day at Universal on the rainiest day ever! I was trying so hard to keep my umbrella from flipping up! Failed miserably!

My facebook actually shows everything, too much to keep up with! NOT!!! I love my life!

So Brittany actually has been venturing along with me on my adventures in acting and she always says how un-supportive she really is, but look what she got me!

My very own "Go Confidently" journal/note taking book and a cupcake pen!!! How amazing is my friend!? oh and she decorated the book herself! Its all black and has a picture of me in the rain and it has the beginning lines of my famed quote that I actually have tattooed on my shoulder<33333

"go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you've imagined!"

-Henry David Thoreau

Thanks B!

I filmed a really great video of me dancing for my video reel and the footage is amazing looking thanks in large part to my Dear Friend Sophie!! Its under private until I can take it down lol.

Booty dancing is not for the faint of heart!

I need new speakers and a new computer, help me out?

xoxo air breathers!

"Ouce" Skating Ilissa Style

2010-01-16T23:09:00.000-08:00

So the last couple of days were very interesting. I had a club night that was annoying, a fashion show that was PHENOMENAL, and my best friend of all time since the 4th grade has come to California to play! Man oh man there was a ton of people that were at our show! I can't wait to put up photos, my hair was so intense! This is just a preview of my next blog with all my amazing photos with my amazing friends!

I don't need to Fight

2010-01-12T22:49:00.000-08:00

Currently eating as many M&M's as possible right now because I took all my vitamins at night, for no reason, I am hyper and quite productive! Last night was quite the night. I don't know how good of friends I really have until they spend the night and all end up cuddled on a bed with 4 different people sprawled out. It was quite comforting. I tried watching Garden State, but my DVD player decided it wasn't too good because the second Natalie Portman come on screen it would shut down. Damn you Natalie! jk, you are amazing, I bow down.

So when I went to the garment district I found the perfect fabric for Go Go costumes, yet I spent almost $90 trying to find things I actually needed. I can't wait until this piece is done.
<-----

Man do I love Pirates!

So Jenny, my best friend from the 4th grade is coming to visit me on Friday just in time for my fashion show! Again if you want to go, its at VANGUARD on HOLLYWOOD, be there before 10pm! Guys, I'm sorry, but its $10 for you no matter what even if you are on my guest list. :( sorry! I'll buy you a beer if you come!

Anywhoo I get to show her all around LA! We will start with the future house I want to live in with her and then the beach and then Disneyland!!!

I am doing really great with not biting my nails, even though I do have anxiety, I ham keeping it under control!

I did a Brazilian dance workout thing today and I don't think it did much, but I hope I feel great in the morning lol. I tried uploading photos from my christmas break, but my camera is being a bitch and not doing so! Also I need help with my computer, so if you have any advice on how to make my computer better, let me know!

mmmm Chicken

xoxox

Oh Not So Epic Proportions

2010-01-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

Where to start, where to start.

I am currently preparing for a small fashion show on the 15th of January, at Vanguard. Its going to be an epic night, and also my second fashion show since I have moved to Los Angeles!

Friends and your friends all need to be there to support me! You must get there before 10pm though or you will be forced to pay $15-$20 entry fee!!!! So get there early people!

I dyed my hair and I love it!

I went to the fashion district today and bought some tights that are sheer green and sheer peach! Oh and of course every girl should own fishnets, no matter what! I am also in the market for new hair extensions and none have popped out at me yet!

I want to visit marie nails soon, I hear they do that japanese nail design that everyone keeps being so secretive about!

So I also finally got to go to WOnderland in Hollywood with Nikki, of course! and we met up with some really great, sexy eyed kind of people. Also two of the kids from Glee were there and they looked like they were having a blast. I didn't want to seem as crazy as everyone else, so I stayed away. For the record, non-crazy people hardly get noticed, so its time to be my crazy self and DANCE! hahaha (not to be contradictory or anything ;)

LA ROUX IS GOING TO BE AT COCHELLA!!!

Peace Chicken Grease xoxo

Modern Family

2010-01-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

Ok aside from the great show, I just love how my family is turning out to be just as Functional as this show!

My sister is on the fast track at school to graduate early so she can become a music producer! She is obsessed with Paramore and her one dream is to record with them! She already does a bag up job in her production class at school and can only go up from here!
I know she will be missing out on a bunch of things her senior year, but if she works hard those memories won't matter!

So in this I am helping her find the perfect school, and an internship so she can start gaining experience at 16! She is going to be the go to person of the music industry so look out world!

This is me and her and my mom who is awfully surprised at both of our life career choices, but in the end she will be surprised at how amazing we are!

Video Killed The Radio Star

2010-01-08T18:24:00.000-08:00

This was over a year ago, oh how I've changed, hahaha but not really!

Ilissa Mayrose YouTube

Those are old and I hope to update soon when I start making my new clothes!

The Colour of Love

2010-01-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

That is my hair! I dyed it again and I love love love it!

Other exciting news is that I am watching at least one movie a night for the rest of the year! Sometimes two of course if I have the day off! So far I have watched:
-Paranormal Activity
-New in Town
-W
-Revolutionary Road
-Night at the Museum 2
-Crank 2
-Harry Potter 6
-Grey Gardens
A very Wide range indeed. I am still trucking with that!
So I have even more good news about a casting I went to. It didn't seem that big now, but at the time I was sooooo stoked about it! I got to audition for a fashion show that is going to be on the 15th in La Puente! tons of pictures will be up the second that happens! haha

Lots of love tonight, peace bitches!

Italy and Wonderment

2010-01-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to go to a photo shoot on a parade float last night but the photog cancelled, but my night was still fun! This is what I looked like for the shoot and went out in my outfit later.

Well I know I should have done this yesterday, but I was out having a good ol' drinking time with my pal, Lennon, who is a personal Trainer and is doing a free workout boot camp this week! you should come and enjoy a really fun workout! here is the link!WORK OUT BOOT CAMP

So on to why I blogged today, I had an Italian man and his son in my store today and he was looking for something specific. Not a word of English, as he tried to explain to me that he was looking for a speedo as he pulled down his pants to reveal he had on man panties. It was craziness!!! So then he tried to explain to me that he was a swim suit model for Dolce and Gabana!!! That was the news for yesterday, also Brit Brit's flight was so delayed that I couldn't get her until this morning! We went to the beach!

So at beach day we had fun at muscle beach and I actually did some cool things on the beams and the rings, it was thrilling!!
These are my best friends, Sophie, Brittany and Jessi.

Brit Brit also got me these amazing sequined shirts and gold shoes that I am already in love with! They are from the 80s! Pictures will be up soon!

Well I'm of to get ready for my work's belated christmas party! maybe I'll get all sequined out!

The time is now! Live this moment, it'll never be here again!

xoxo

The Art

2010-01-04T09:10:00.000-08:00

Good Morrow! Drinking Jasmine Tea for my throat today!!!

Today is quite exquisite, and I am happy that this new year has started of on the "right" foot. I recently became a new person and I feel many good changes, but of course more to come!

I have finally decided that I want to follow modeling and acting for now. As much as I love doing many other things, those are the main subjects that I will be focusing on.

The New Year was quite the experience, getting rid of old and ringing in the new. I have found out so many things about me that I was afraid to admit, but now that I have admitted my faults it is time to fix them and be better! Like on that was outstanding and mostly annoying was the fact that I was my own worst enemy... Me and myself were not good friends, she would stop me from doing castings, or going out you know all those exciting experiences that number one me really wanted to do, but number two me was too stubborn. From now on I am letting both of my-selves to enjoy any and every experience!

So yesterday my Horoscope for the Famed Pisces I am said; "There is an angel on your shoulder now, Pisces. You can make no wrong choices in the paths you take or the people you get to know. This is a very special time for you, where destiny meets you halfway and helps you to get closer to your most cherished dreams. The Hurdle for you will be recognized that where you are is the place that is best for you, and proceed accordingly. In the past you've occasionally been you own worst enemy. That has to stop now. You will soon be offered the keys to your future happiness. Make sure you use them."

I know that may have been a lot, but it took the last couple of horoscopes to finally feel like I was in my own skin. I dressed how I remember I wanted to and didn't give a damn and I could feel it when I got to work that people could notice I was happier. Which is huge since I am a goof anyway. I dance to the music and make fun of myself and tell jokes all the time. So it was only right that I dress my personality.

So new plans are, of course, under wraps only because I am not that way anymore. Telling al my plans and not actually following through with them! NOT ANYMORE!!! I am not a flake. I am the best person you will ever come into contact with.

I am going to be a star, for me. This is the first of many new blogs that I will update. I am so all about the things that I feel, like, love, want, treasure, loathe, and see as an inspiration.

I sent out christmas cards to many of my friends and family that I never see! I hope you all got your cards, know that I hope you all are doing well!!!

Still working on my signature sign off, so in the mean time I am going to go with,

off and on but never down and out. xoxo

Its so True.

2010-01-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

"Remember that whatever you say consistently becomes reality."

My story is mine. Its a think positive kinda new atmosphere thing. I love me, my body, my hair, my eyes, my love for things just because, and the way I do things.

My story is no where near being finished and I am excited to invite you into my life.

Please bring wine and happy thoughts <3

Ilissa

xox

New Body, New Mind, New Soul.

2009-12-28T10:39:00.001-08:00

If steps are cautious, then when does the fun start?

These last couple weeks have been really great, I had 3 photoshoots and I am just now getting into my new skin. Its a weird feeling to feel alone. My new designs and attitude are a reflection of things that I want. The past is forgotten.

I am headed in a whole new direction, I am beginning to take control and it is such a good feeling. Its almost like how Glen Beck feels when he cries on stage in front of thousands of people, he is just letting it go, and so am I. I have a lot of projects in mind for the future, and my planning skills will be unlike any others.

My motivation is still my little sister, Haley. She wants the same things I do and is always telling me the most inspirational things anyone could say, but don't have the courage to.

This New Year isn't going to be like any other and I am so prepared to dive deep into this life I can create for myself. Lady Gaga has the right idea. I love you world and its time for you to love me back!

To the new year!

ideas for some new years resolutions:

- No downloading music illegally.

- Be Carefree.

- Don't buy things that are frivolous.

- Love.

Is There Holiday Cheer?

2009-12-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

I am in love with Colorado. I am so happy when I am here and knowing that there is one person here that could change my mind with the drop of a hat, but he can't seem to find courage to be the man I know he is.

Christmas was the best. I almost had an anxiety attack at the airport because someone got my hopes up and ended up disappointing me like always. God, don't you love love?

We are buying Paranormal Activity on Tuesday!!!! This is the craziest scary movie and I love love love it!

Now I am off to watch Harry Potter 6, also go check out my new photo shoot up on Facebook! Also new new photo shoot will be up soon!!!

xoxo Ilissa Mayrose

The Fame is without The Famous, Just be Glorious to Yourself!

One Month.

2009-11-29T10:12:00.000-08:00

In the last month I have been at my lowest. Insecure, vulnerable, scared and unappreciated. Its been a crazy time out here in LA and due to one comment by my past "amour," I can't give up. Even if it means I have to stay in this city until I die!

The fire was not a life changing experience, I slumped back into my usual laziness and took for granted most things.

No matter though! I am forever now in a new light. I enjoy movies and because I like them so much I want to crate something to selfishly make me feel good. I miss modeling and makeup at times because I was so busy with it in Florida. Out here I have minimal contacts because I wasn't trying hard enough. Without school I guess people just loose their minds and grow up because they have no social activity around them. Seriously look around to the happy go lucky's of this world, they have things to do.

So here is my new proposal, and hopefully a new resolution with the coming new year; Anyone who wants to work with me, shall. Thats right. I am going to be "yes woman" from here on out. I am 22 years young and I need to start acting like! If you have a place for friends do share and we shall forever be friends and acquaintances!

Currently I am dying my hair. ooooo what is it? You'll have to wait and see!

On another memo, I have also forever sworn off CWM. Yes they are initials. It will never happen again and this time I mean it. We will never be a t the right place at the right time. Sad, I now, but it needed to be put to rest. Long lost loves shall forever stay... lost.

My little sister is my motivation, she knows how to dream.

The Life For... Me?

2009-10-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

This whole "moving to California" thing is turning quickly. I am lying to myself most of the time, but at least I got to see it and can say "I did it."

For some reason I just don't believe this anymore. I've wanted to dance in Music videos, like actual choreography... not a video ho, since I was 14. I went to film school because I thought it would teach me about directing music videos and all it taught me was to take the easy, lazy way out of things. I cared so much about so many things and that was what made me so positive and likable. Now I try, actually try, not to care about a lot of things because I feel like if I get involved things will just be bad. What happened to "risk it all" me?

I love going out and havin a good time and meeting people seems to be my speciality because remembering names, apparently, is my hobby. Thats one thing I like. I don't want the guys here because they are all focusing on different things, and so am I. I just want to be friends with everyone.

So this is my only conclusion; I need a dog.

haha, you can think what you want, dumb blonde, dumb girl, whatever want, if its making you feel better about yourself then I m doing my job, you might want to re-think the way you go about things, however, because if you're good enough, you don't need to bring others down.

"The blueprint to soul discovery is creativity. If you create, you'll never be lost."

-me

"These ARE the words you wish you wrote down"

2009-10-28T17:50:00.001-07:00

Loads to tell tonight; as the british would say.

So I have been hangin with my new BFF Nik, and she always is dressed in these famously addicting cocktail dresses. And she always looks good doing it!

So I skipped a night, here is recap of events that happened Sunday.

Waited in line at the Roosevelt for a maximum of 30 seconds because we are amazingly pretty and we are always smiling. Two boys needed two girls to get in, Well hello destiny, its Ilissa, thank you for these two cute boys to travel with.

We are the back burners for the two boys, if they can't find anyone else, they stood next to us. I don't mind, all I really want to do is Dance, everyone knows that, boys are the least of my worries. Anywho, the last 2 times at the Roosevelt were wonderfully productive, you could say.

Ok so Nik had tix to BLG and cobra starship, amazing I say, but low and behold I have to work my part timer job and no one loves me enough to cover, real downer.

I have a sick employee come in and she is past out on the changing room floor pretty much and we did not make any money. Call the Mama Bear boss lady and she gives me the go ahead to close for the night. (once in a lifetime)

RUSH RUSH RUSH is all I have to say, not really I love talking a typing so here is the rest.

I call for a cab to take me (little did I know) 8 blocks from my street to the venue. Got in the cab with the oldest Asian you can imagine and all he could do was yell at me. $8 later and a little bit unsure of my attitude for the rest of the night I make it to Nokia!

We watch the end set for Cobra Starship and everyone was dancing and havin a ball, I just like being around people and if they dance woo hoo!

Long story short, I hate when band people who are not part of the band "recruit" girls to come aboard. Its socially awkward and things need to change. Me and Nik are starting a band(FML).

The end is; don't assume the bus is a free pass into my pants. I can't even begin to enlighten you all with my sarcasm from this night. Boys, life is hard, deal with it.

love and cupcakes or xoxo or whatever crap people say to sign off with now,

Ilissa

ps this isn't over, oh no.

Going Out With The Girls

2009-10-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

Its never been a difficult decision when all I have to know is when and where.

So me and NL have boy problems. Well she calls them problems, I, however, love the single life and believe it is in my best interest to wait until I am actually in my "career" instead of the outlet mall.

I love being a witness to the hunt. Especially when you get to see the look on people's faces when they are drunk and think no one is watching. I am. Beware!

There is going to be a Fashion Show supporting the Pakistani School of Orange County in 2 weeks. I am a model in it and if you would like to be our "show stopper" please feel free to email me with your talent. This is a huge event to be covered by the LA times and NBC. More details when the show gets closer. :)

To all the Halloween goers, what is there to do in Hollywood during this frightful holiday? I heard there will be a parade. How does one join in this parade?

Anywho, off to work and helping others by taking their money at discounted prices.

xoxo

Ilissa