New Body, New Mind, New Soul.

If steps are cautious, then when does the fun start?

These last couple weeks have been really great, I had 3 photoshoots and I am just now getting into my new skin. Its a weird feeling to feel alone. My new designs and attitude are a reflection of things that I want. The past is forgotten.

I am headed in a whole new direction, I am beginning to take control and it is such a good feeling. Its almost like how Glen Beck feels when he cries on stage in front of thousands of people, he is just letting it go, and so am I. I have a lot of projects in mind for the future, and my planning skills will be unlike any others.

My motivation is still my little sister, Haley. She wants the same things I do and is always telling me the most inspirational things anyone could say, but don't have the courage to.

This New Year isn't going to be like any other and I am so prepared to dive deep into this life I can create for myself. Lady Gaga has the right idea. I love you world and its time for you to love me back!

To the new year!

ideas for some new years resolutions:

- No downloading music illegally.

- Be Carefree.

- Don't buy things that are frivolous.

- Love.

Is There Holiday Cheer?

I am in love with Colorado. I am so happy when I am here and knowing that there is one person here that could change my mind with the drop of a hat, but he can't seem to find courage to be the man I know he is.

Christmas was the best. I almost had an anxiety attack at the airport because someone got my hopes up and ended up disappointing me like always. God, don't you love love?

We are buying Paranormal Activity on Tuesday!!!! This is the craziest scary movie and I love love love it!

Now I am off to watch Harry Potter 6, also go check out my new photo shoot up on Facebook! Also new new photo shoot will be up soon!!!

xoxo Ilissa Mayrose

The Fame is without The Famous, Just be Glorious to Yourself!

One Month.

In the last month I have been at my lowest. Insecure, vulnerable, scared and unappreciated. Its been a crazy time out here in LA and due to one comment by my past "amour," I can't give up. Even if it means I have to stay in this city until I die!

The fire was not a life changing experience, I slumped back into my usual laziness and took for granted most things.

No matter though! I am forever now in a new light. I enjoy movies and because I like them so much I want to crate something to selfishly make me feel good. I miss modeling and makeup at times because I was so busy with it in Florida. Out here I have minimal contacts because I wasn't trying hard enough. Without school I guess people just loose their minds and grow up because they have no social activity around them. Seriously look around to the happy go lucky's of this world, they have things to do.

So here is my new proposal, and hopefully a new resolution with the coming new year; Anyone who wants to work with me, shall. Thats right. I am going to be "yes woman" from here on out. I am 22 years young and I need to start acting like! If you have a place for friends do share and we shall forever be friends and acquaintances!

Currently I am dying my hair. ooooo what is it? You'll have to wait and see!

On another memo, I have also forever sworn off CWM. Yes they are initials. It will never happen again and this time I mean it. We will never be a t the right place at the right time. Sad, I now, but it needed to be put to rest. Long lost loves shall forever stay... lost.

My little sister is my motivation, she knows how to dream.

The Life For... Me?

This whole "moving to California" thing is turning quickly. I am lying to myself most of the time, but at least I got to see it and can say "I did it."

For some reason I just don't believe this anymore. I've wanted to dance in Music videos, like actual choreography... not a video ho, since I was 14. I went to film school because I thought it would teach me about directing music videos and all it taught me was to take the easy, lazy way out of things. I cared so much about so many things and that was what made me so positive and likable. Now I try, actually try, not to care about a lot of things because I feel like if I get involved things will just be bad. What happened to "risk it all" me?

I love going out and havin a good time and meeting people seems to be my speciality because remembering names, apparently, is my hobby. Thats one thing I like. I don't want the guys here because they are all focusing on different things, and so am I. I just want to be friends with everyone.

So this is my only conclusion; I need a dog.

haha, you can think what you want, dumb blonde, dumb girl, whatever want, if its making you feel better about yourself then I m doing my job, you might want to re-think the way you go about things, however, because if you're good enough, you don't need to bring others down.

"The blueprint to soul discovery is creativity. If you create, you'll never be lost."

-me

"These ARE the words you wish you wrote down"

Loads to tell tonight; as the british would say.

So I have been hangin with my new BFF Nik, and she always is dressed in these famously addicting cocktail dresses. And she always looks good doing it!

So I skipped a night, here is recap of events that happened Sunday.

Waited in line at the Roosevelt for a maximum of 30 seconds because we are amazingly pretty and we are always smiling. Two boys needed two girls to get in, Well hello destiny, its Ilissa, thank you for these two cute boys to travel with.

We are the back burners for the two boys, if they can't find anyone else, they stood next to us. I don't mind, all I really want to do is Dance, everyone knows that, boys are the least of my worries. Anywho, the last 2 times at the Roosevelt were wonderfully productive, you could say.

Ok so Nik had tix to BLG and cobra starship, amazing I say, but low and behold I have to work my part timer job and no one loves me enough to cover, real downer.

I have a sick employee come in and she is past out on the changing room floor pretty much and we did not make any money. Call the Mama Bear boss lady and she gives me the go ahead to close for the night. (once in a lifetime)

RUSH RUSH RUSH is all I have to say, not really I love talking a typing so here is the rest.

I call for a cab to take me (little did I know) 8 blocks from my street to the venue. Got in the cab with the oldest Asian you can imagine and all he could do was yell at me. $8 later and a little bit unsure of my attitude for the rest of the night I make it to Nokia!

We watch the end set for Cobra Starship and everyone was dancing and havin a ball, I just like being around people and if they dance woo hoo!

Long story short, I hate when band people who are not part of the band "recruit" girls to come aboard. Its socially awkward and things need to change. Me and Nik are starting a band(FML).

The end is; don't assume the bus is a free pass into my pants. I can't even begin to enlighten you all with my sarcasm from this night. Boys, life is hard, deal with it.

love and cupcakes or xoxo or whatever crap people say to sign off with now,

Ilissa

ps this isn't over, oh no.

Going Out With The Girls

Its never been a difficult decision when all I have to know is when and where.

So me and NL have boy problems. Well she calls them problems, I, however, love the single life and believe it is in my best interest to wait until I am actually in my "career" instead of the outlet mall.

I love being a witness to the hunt. Especially when you get to see the look on people's faces when they are drunk and think no one is watching. I am. Beware!

There is going to be a Fashion Show supporting the Pakistani School of Orange County in 2 weeks. I am a model in it and if you would like to be our "show stopper" please feel free to email me with your talent. This is a huge event to be covered by the LA times and NBC. More details when the show gets closer. :)

To all the Halloween goers, what is there to do in Hollywood during this frightful holiday? I heard there will be a parade. How does one join in this parade?

Anywho, off to work and helping others by taking their money at discounted prices.

xoxo

Ilissa