Today Prince died. I don't seek comfort in the universe, but it has made me open up my emotions and mind to all that I have endured these last couple of weeks. I think myself as a nice, giving and respectful human. Wishing I was an alien most of the time. I can't find what makes me special nowadays. I can't find my niche or my path or my desires. I have dreamed of being on stage and being on talk shows talking about my movies or my singing. That hasn't happened. Not even a little bit, not even close.
Knowing what's worse is that I actually started to hate myself. Hate who I am bc I can't fight my inner self. Someone else is in here and they keep me from doing so much with my life. My mother taught not to blame others, and I've never looked to someone else for guidance or answers. I always got myself out of pickles bc I knew what to say and do to make my situation better. Where do you go from here?
I want to be in love and at 29 I imagined I'd have everything I've ever wanted by now. So it's hard for me to say I believe in always being positive, but I have been so unfocused. Can't keep being pushed around or just going with the flow. It's time to have a plan and get things done where I can consistently be happy.